and she was petting her beer can
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
