just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
