I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
