My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
