remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
