I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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