I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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