Only a mothe r could love this liver
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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