remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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