Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.

(503): View more from Oregon

I am not joking.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town

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(702): View more from Nevada

When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

I've always been the spiritual type.

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(206): View more from Washington

and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.

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(407): View more from Florida

I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.

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(206): View more from Washington

riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea

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(916): View more from California

She's not a foreskin expert like you

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(443): View more from Maryland

I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday

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