If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
