is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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