woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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