Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
