you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
