would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
