Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
