your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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