I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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