Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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