Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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