I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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