She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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