went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
