Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
