I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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