But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
