I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
