I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
