apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
