the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
