doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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