if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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