As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
