i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
They took my balls.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
