They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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