Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
