these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
