the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
