just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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