and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
