I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
