only if we run a train.
done.
well you can't waste a boner
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
