I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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