Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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