can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
