it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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