I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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