its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
