sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
